


What's New in Q Branch?

by Simplistically_content



Category: James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Intermission chat, Sassy Double Oh Agents, Terrible tags - I can only apologise, chat about sexing Q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 00:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11196972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simplistically_content/pseuds/Simplistically_content
Summary: So technically, they're absolutely not supposed to be contacting one another while on separate missions. Obviously. Security, compromised positions... any number of reasons but sometimes the old dogs just want to gossip.Well, Alec wants to gossip. James will forever be, the dutiful friend, and will always listen. You know, despite protocol.And despite the threat of an angry Q...





	What's New in Q Branch?

**Author's Note:**

> Not even cannon realistic - just a bit of fun because, why the hell not? My Alec is Sean Bean and my James is Daniel Craig but read as you see fit.

“Have you visited Q-Branch lately?” Alec murmured as he lined up his crosshairs over his target.

 _“Briefly, nothing of meritable note... why?”_ James responded and Alec’s lips twitched.

“So you haven’t had the pleasure yet...” he applied pressure to the small bag of sand his rifle was resting on, rapidly assessing the state of the landscape that spanned between his position and that of his target before taking a breath and taking his shot.

 _“Pleasure?”_ Bond’s voice had a lilt of amusement embedded amongst the radio waves and Alec smirked as he packed away his firearm. _“We have obviously been so long without one another's company that you seem to be under the impression that I go in for that sort...”_

“And what sort would that be?”

_“Old? Stale? Rusty? Pick an adjective my dear...”_

_“_ How about... tousled, refined, classic and refreshing...”

 _“I promised M I wouldn't go near the internship after the Rosberg fiasco...”_ Alex couldn't hold back the chuckles at the memory. _“She's lucky all she got was permanently grounding, firing and monitoring for the next 10 years.”_

“And they called it _treason,”_ Alec smirked. “If I wasn't in what passes for a monogamous relationship, I'd seriously wonder just how wonderful your cock actually is enough to offer my bed...”

 _“I'd never deny you, darling,”_ Bond purred.

“Despite Rosberg attempting to hack Six to get your address,” Alec pushed on without much more than an eye roll. “I didn't actually mean the little interns ferrying about importantly here there and everywhere on their computers while making an attempt to keep field agents alive... I mean, dearest James, our new Quartermaster...”

He listened and waited for James’ interest to pique, his amusement turning triumphant when it did in the form of an enquiring noise amidst the bustle of what Alec knew to be Zagreb though he had been told it was Prague. He tapped his ear to mute and remained silent while he moved through the streets beneath his nest to his extraction point and silent still until he was safely aboard a flight home. “Hmm?” he prodded after tapping his ear again and received an affirmative from the other end of his earpiece.

 _“This is all terribly unprofessional of me,”_ He heard James murmur and rolled his eyes when he heard a woman's throaty laugh pieter out into a low groan. _“What must you think of me...”_

“He's not my type,” Alec said easily. “That's not to say I wouldn't mind having his arse in front of me...” James made another noise Alec took to be enquiring and the faint sound of tongue lapping against the flesh of a woman's inner most areas filled his ear. _Drama queen_ , he thought to himself. “He's... your antithesis. And very much your type... but he won't take any nonsense. The only one he defer to is M, and he still corrects _her_... you're about to get to the fun part so I'll leave you be. However... I suggest taking back all of your equipment in tact. You know, lead him into a false sense of security...” he was smiling as his eyes slid shut.

 _“Eager for me, darling?”_ James whispered and the woman he was with groaned again. _“I was never one back down from a challenge,”_ he chuckled, the woman gave a loud, happy laugh and Alec tapped his ear off, replacing it with his Q-Branch duplicate.

“Double-Oh Six, reporting in en route home.”

 _“Excellent, 006,”_ The voice of the Quartermaster’s R filled his ear. _“I trust 007 is well? Q was less than impressed when he discovered you both subverted his attempts to monitor you audibly.”_

“I got him a present to apologise,” he assured R. “007 was well enough two minutes ago. He should be in contact within the hour... give or take,” he shrugged uselessly.  

“ _006_ ,” the Quartermaster himself was heard.

“Quartermaster,” he greeted. “I trust my colleagues aren't affording you any undue stress...”

 _“Not at all, 006. Yourself and 007 seem to have a lock on that front,”_ the response was testy and it made Alec grin. _“And you can wipe that smile off your face too,”_ his grin widened _._

“Would that I could, Q.” He could hear Q rolling his eyes but continued to smile despite the ire of his superior. “Would that I could.”


End file.
